


Position Impossible

by jdjunkie



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Dialogue-Only, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-26
Updated: 2011-08-26
Packaged: 2017-10-23 02:24:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/245241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdjunkie/pseuds/jdjunkie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“This isn’t exactly how I imagined our taking it to the next level would be, you know.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Position Impossible

“Do you think you could … just …put”

“Nope. Can’t reach. If I could just …”

“Ow! Dammit Jack. Did no-one ever tell you elbows weren’t meant to impact soft tissue. Especially not _my_ soft tissue.”

“Sorry.”

“It _hurts_.”

“Well, if you’d just _stop_ your whining and let me scooch round and ...”

“Ow! Again. Fuck. You _said_ you knew what you were doing.”

“I do. It’s just, you don’t look like the drawing in the book and it’s confusing me.”

“Ex- _cuse_ me? I don’t look like some 70s long-haired, bearded, flare-wearing gay guy so you don’t know what to _do_ with me?”

“Well. Things have changed since 1977. The book’s a classic. I thought you’d be pleased I’d read it.”

“Jack, stop sounding so … hurt. I am pleased. Really. I’m blown away by your commitment to our burgeoning love life and all-new sexual practices. And yes, I know things have changed since 1977 but the essentials, Jack, the essentials remain the same. Cock, ass, balls, Tab A, Slot B … just the same.”

“I’m trying dammit, if I can maybe lower you, just a little. Maybe it’ll slide  … hang on.”

“My neck.”

“What about it.”

“Um, unnatural angle here.”

“Oh, sorry. Geometry never was my strong point. Just relax a little and let me pull you back then I can just lower you gently….”

“Hmmmpphh.”

 

>>>

 

>>>

 

“You still breathing?”

“Nmy hud’s psht in th’ p’low”

“Going Goa’uld on me there, Daniel?”

“Fuck!! You said lower gently. What part of lower and gently didn’t you understand? I think my nose is broken.”

“Let me see there. Nope. Not broken, still beautiful.”

“No thanks to you and your love moves from the decade that style forgot. They have updated that book since you know. Several times.”

“Original and best, Daniel. Not unlike me.”

“It might have been better if you’d _really_ gone for the original and best, pre-dating your well-thumbed tome by a good 1,000 years.”

“Yeah, well, I had a look at that, too. Have you _seen_ some of the things those guys got up to? Just not physically possible. Especially with my knees.”

“Hello? Significant other calling! Are we doing this or not?”

“Doing this. Is your back hurting?”

“Yes.”

“Would it help if I gave you massage?”

“No, no, no, don’t move your arms. You’ll collapse on me. I’ll die.”

“You won’t _die._ ”

“I might. You’re not exactly a lightweight there, Jack.”

“I’ll have you know I weigh exactly the same as I did when I entered the service. It’s just distributed a little differently these days is all.”

“Pffft.”

“Stop, pfffting and let me soothe your back a little.”

“Can you do it without crushing me?”

“I’ll try.”

“Don’t _try_. Do.”

“Okay. I’ve got no oils but the friction should feel good if I keep it localised.”

 

>>>>

 

>>>>

 

“That feel okay?”

“Hmmm.”

“Jeeze, I love your skin. It’s soft as ...”

“Don’t go there, Jack.”

“What? It is. I love to feel it under my hands. The way it moves over the muscle. The way it feels different when you start to relax, let things go. It’s beautiful. You’re … It’s so … you.”

“It _is_ me. Just a little lower, that’s …..aaahhh. Right there.”

“Let me reach for a pillow, raise you up a little, ease your back.”

“No. Don’t move. This is … wonderful.”

“Yeah?  That’s good. Just relax. Let me take care of you.”

 

>>>>

 

>>>>

 

 

“S’up?”

“S’alright, relax. You fell asleep.”

“I did? God, sorry. How long?”

“About fifteen minutes.”

“And you’ve been massaging me all that time?

“More like stroking. Wanted to make sure you slept a little. You needed the rest. Been a rough couple of weeks.”

“Had the rest. Want the sex.”

“Wanna try this again?”

“Roger that.”

“If that was a double entendre it was lame, Daniel. And if it wasn’t, I thought we’d agreed to keep work talk out of the bedroom.”

“Sir, yes sir.”

“Stop it.”

“Stopping now, sir.”

“Daniel.”

“Jack.”

“One more comment like that and I’ll give you the running commentary.”

“Oh God. Anything but …”

“Aaaand, we’re coming in from the north at 2 o’clock.”

“Jack.”

“Conditions are favorable, angle of descent is looking good.”

“Jack …”

“Shit … Unexpected turbulence.”

“What are you _doing_?”

“Reaching for the lube, meant … to … bring…”

“Don’t make me come back there …”

“I thought that was the whole _point,_ Daniel.”

“I’m losing the will to live here.”

“Sorry. Got it. … Ah! Shit, fuck and buggery. Aaah.”

“What the …?”

“Cramp! Left leg. Fuck!”

“Let me… God! You alright down there?”

“Ow! Shit. Stop laughing. This floor is fucking hard”

“I’m not laughing.”

“You _so_ are.”

“I’m laughing with, not at you.”

“Like fuck you are. Grab my foot and stretch my leg out. Yeah … that’s it. Ow. Ow.”

“This is so _you_ , Jack.Torture you, get an alien device to pin you up against the Gateroom wall, zat you, break your leg, freeze your ass off in stasis and we’ll hear nary a word of complaint. Let your muscles seize a little and it’s the end of the world as we know it.”

“It _hurts.”_

“I can kiss it better.”

“I can think of better things for you to kiss.”

“I can do that, too. Does that feel any better? ”

“Yeah. A little. Thanks.

 

>>>>

 

>>>>

 

“This isn’t exactly how I imagined our taking it to the next level would be, you know.”

“I know, Jack.”

“I had visions of effortless lovemaking, our bodies sleeked in sweat, ecstatic moaning, whispered endearments, beautiful shadows on candelit walls.”

“Jesus. What _else_ have you been reading?”

“I’m an incurable romantic. So sue me.”

“Ignore me. I love that you’re a romantic. Just never expect me to admit it out loud.”

“Too late. We’re both outed.”

“I guess we are. Has the pain eased off now?”

“Some.”

“Wanna come back up here? I’ll gave you a class A blow job.”

“I think the moment’s passed. And my leg’s sore. And your back hurts.”

“Studly. Aren’t we.”

“Not so much.”

 

>>>>

 

>>>>

 

>>>>

 

>>>>

 

“ _Family Guy’s_ on in ten.”

“Sweet.”

 

 

ENDS


End file.
